lacey’s lament

a story of love……lost and found

‘So, what you’re saying’ Jackson cleared his throat and spoke looking at Lacey as Marybeth walked up, ‘is you don’t want any kind of relationship with me, no seeing each other, no courting, no possibilities’. With her face looking down at the weathered board planking under the overhang in front of Michael’s Merc Lacey spoke, ‘that’s about the sum of it’. Sitting on the top rail of the hitching post and decorative fence that fronted the store Jackson paused as an awkward interminable silence lingered. He then stepped down and stood, all 6’3'“ of him, sculpted with wide shoulders and thin at the hip, chiseled face, dimpled chin, and soft powder blue eyes. Any girl’s dream come true. Except apparently for Lacey. Blowing out hard Jackson softly spoke. ‘Well I thankyou for your truthfulness and honesty. Wouldn’t want you feelin’ uncomfortable around me and wishin’ me gone. As for me I don’t want to be holdin’ to a false hope and wrong expectations’. He then looked at Lacey with anguish but kindness in his eyes, doffed his hat and said goodbye.

With eyes full of tears Lacey watched him walk away and cried out ‘Jackson…..friends’? He stopped, twisted sideways and looked at her longingly before saying, ‘friends….maybe, acquaintances for sure’ as he turned and continued walking, out of her sight, and out of her life. Turning to Marybeth Lacey said, ‘oh my God what have I done. I think I have made a terrible mistake’. Staggering backwards she found the bench in front of the store plopped down and began to cry. Gaining control she looked up to Marybeth and spoke. ‘It’s just that I am so afraid. My father sold me when I was only 16 in a poker game and I was forced to live with an abusive malodorous monster who beat and raped me. He hit me so hard I lost my only child at 9 weeks as I lay weeping in a fetal position on the floor as he continued to kick me. Screaming he yelled ‘get up you filthy bitch’ finally leaving as blood seeped onto the floor. In a drunken rage he returned to the saloon where he was caught cheating at cards, pulled his gun but was killed by his accuser ending his worthless life.

‘Taking the few things I had easily fitting into a small garment bag I walked out the door of my tiny one room prison and never looked back. With the few dollars I managed to hide, I caught a stage here to New Braunfels looking for new hope and a second chance. Milly at the diner took pity on me offering me a job and allowing me to sleep in a small back room off the kitchen until I was able to afford a room at Mavis’s boarding house. I get by with tips and leftover’s at Milly’s’.

‘Never saw my parents again. Word came Ma died grievin’ before my leavin’ and sufferin’ one to many beatings from Pa when he was a drinkin’. Then he up and left without sayin’ goodbye. Waitressing at Milly’s I have to fend off inappropriate touching and lude remarks. Seems all men are the same. Until Jackson. He was always kind, courteous, and a generous tipper, but with never a suggestion of anything expected in return. And believe me when Jackson was in the house all the other men were angels. After an altercation or two word got out and things were much better for me’.

‘When in town he would always get breakfast here and sometimes when it was slow in the afternoon he would come in for coffee and maybe a piece of pie so he could talk with me. Milly was able to spare me most of the time allowing us a few moments together. But I remained guarded and carefully tiptoed around the facts about my life. When I sensed he wanted to get closer I began to back away. And then you were here today and heard’. All this was spoken as she watched Jackson walking away until he disappeared. ‘Oh God I don’t know what to do. I am just too ashamed to speak openly about my past. I feel so soiled and unclean, and can’t imagine any man would want me’

‘Allow me to sit with you on the bench’ Marybeth said. ‘Certainly’ was Lacey’s reply. Grabbing my hand in hers she said, ‘there is so much more about this man that you need to know. First, how much has he told you about his history’? ‘Well, I know’ Lacey responded ‘that he was in the war, though he doesn’t like to talk about it. Simply said ‘In war the depths of Hell open wide to devour everything. If you happen to survive with whatever body you have left intact, your soul is still in exile’. Mostly we talked about present things, day to day happenings at Milly’s and his adventures as a U.S. Marshall. We would laugh and I would avoid enquires about my past, purposely vague. I could tell he yearned for more openness and honesty in our friendship but I wasn’t willing to give it. Instead Lacey lamented, ‘I rejected him and his proposal of courtship and love’.

Patting my hand Marybeth said, ’let me tell you a little about this man. When he joined the conflict he enlisted in the Texas 8th Cavalry known as Terry’s Texas Rangers. But it was only after he helped protect our ranch from Comancheros, Comanche and Union sympathizers. They swooped down to fill the vacancy the army left to join the war against their own brethren’. ‘Please I must interrupt’ Lacey said. ‘How is it you know so much about this man? Are you his……’Mother’? Marybeth interjected. ‘Yes, I am his mother and mighty proud of it’.

Blowing out with a whoosh with her right hand on her breast Lacey said, ‘oh my, oh my’. Marybeth then took Lacey’s hand and looking into her eyes said, ‘your secrets are safe with me’. ‘But I’m not fit for your son, I’m so’……At this point Marybeth stopped Lacey by waving her hand back and forth in front of her. ‘Stop child, stop’. Grasping both her hands and looking intently into her eyes, ‘I think you are perfect for him’! ‘But’…’Wait, you have to know something. Jackson has talked to me about you many times and when he does light returns back to his eyes. She is so much like my Becky’ he said, ‘taller, well put together and simply beautiful. She has a bright smile, sparkling eyes, composure under pressure, and very capable. She’s so easy to talk to and I treasure every moment I have with her. How’s that for starters’ Marybeth said with a smile. I sat in stunned silence, confused. I never knew. Staring numbly into blank space trying to arrest my thoughts a steely resolve arose in my chest. Somehow someway I would get ‘my Jackson’ back again.

‘You can’t go back and change the beginning……but you can start where you are and change the ending’

‘Marybeth please tell me more of his story. I feel I’m really getting to know this man’. ‘He did go into detail about his prison escape’ Marybeth spoke. With help from his buddies they changed clothes with the recently dead or dying. Now they had the stench of death on them. Didn’t take much to add to the look of death as they were all filthy and emaciated. Every day at dusk a mule drawn wagon would pull up in front of each ragged shelter and the prisoners were made to pile the newly dead in the back of the wagon. Careful not to make a sound Jackson and his friend Spivy were thrown on top of dead bodies already picked up and then the other dead men from their ‘shebang’ were loaded on top of them. Their names were given by other POW’s and a recording made in the ‘Book of the Dead’. ‘The suffocating weight, stench, and hideously macabre circumstance required all my inner strength to keep from screaming and going mad’ he said. ‘My faith and a mental picture of Becky was the thin line then and all during the war that helped me retain some semblance of sanity’.

‘Before we were dumped a few miles away in a ditch filled with dead and decaying bodies, they took a devilish delight in poking the dead with a pitch fork hoping to hear the sound of popping, releasing puss and bodily fluids. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and panic filled my mind but fortunately we were not stabbed. Then we crawled out from under this valley of dead bones and secreted away before another load came. Afterwards depending on the prevailing wind kerosene and coal oil were poured on the bodies and a fire was lit while the scavengers slinked away waiting for another day. No one guarded ‘the pit’. There was no concern these bones would walk away’.

‘Spivy and I walked through the night to escape the dogs that patrolled the camps. When we thought it was safe we stopped, breathing hard from exhaustion, bent at the waste, hands on our knees, and began to uncontrollably weep. Afterwards we hugged and clung to one another and then began to laugh before setting out again. On the morning of the fourteenth day with the generosity of some gracious souls we staggered into the camp of some good ole Mississippi boys who were startled at our presence and even more with our story. We were able to recuperate for only a day and a half before moving on. Soon it would be April and Appomattox, a long trip home and other battles to fight’.

‘The young officer, all the others were dead, of this small rag tag group of brave but beaten men was only a corporal. Recognizing my seniority as a captain he deferred to me, but I told him privately to keep that knowledge to himself’. ‘These are your men’ I said, ‘and I will help in any way I can’. Two days later I was alone on a recon mission when I intercepted a Union courier alone and lost. ‘Please don’t kill me sir’ he said, ‘this war is all but over’. ‘I ain’t gunna hurt you son’ I replied. ‘How old are you’? I asked. ‘Sixteen sir’. ‘What’s your name and where you from’? ‘Name’s Bobby Bodine from Ohio sir’. ‘Well Bobby we are just a small group of men with nothing left but only the hope of returning home. Is there anything you got that might help us on our journey’? Smiling he said, ‘your greybacks are worthless. I got something that will help get ya home’. Pulling a large pouch out of his paniers he handed it to me. Peeking inside I saw it was stuffed with greenbacks and gold coins. ‘Mr. Lincoln ain’t gunna miss that, only the officers and men up the road. They’ll get over it. There’s plenty more where that came from’.

‘Is that a Spencer you’re carrying’? ‘Yep’ he said, unsheathing the rifle and handing it to me butt first. ‘And you better take this too’ as he handed me his Colt .44 caliber ‘Army’ model revolver. Again butt first. ‘I’d be hard pressed to explain why I was still armed and offered no resistance’. He then handed me all the extra ammo he had. ‘Thankyou son, you’ve been a mite obliging’. ‘Truth is most of my family is from Kentucky and Arkansas’ he said. Hate this war. Happy to help my kin’. ‘Names J.D. Stone from New Braunfels Texas’ I said as I reached to shake his hand. ‘Got a ranch and family down there. If you survive this war and get a hankerin’ you’d be most welcome to sit the porch and enjoy our hospitality at any time’. ‘Thanks for the invite’ Bobby said, ‘I might just take you up on that’ smilin’ as he rode away.

‘I returned and shared this new found wealth with each of the men. It would indeed help us get home. But that’s not all as the very next day a Union supply wagon was found axle broken and in the midst of repair. The four men left to guard and fix the wagon were surrounded and offered little resistance. No one wanted to die, they just wanted to go home. ‘Sick of this damn war’ the old sarge said, ‘reckon you boys can use what’s inside’. Yielding their weapons they set off for their camp not ten miles away. Inside we found all kinds of food stuff and provisions. You should have heard the whooping and yelling when the boys uncovered this manna from Heaven. First time in months they had a full belly’.

‘That evening the corporal took me aside and said, ‘pick the best horse we got out of our small remuda, guns and supplies. Federals will be here tomorrow or there abouts and you need to be gone. When they arrive there will be a formal surrender, confiscating our guns, horses and anything of value. We will be forced to sign allegiance to the Union with the promise to never offer resistance again. It’s your best chance of gettin’ back to Texas alive. Be careful of Union patrols and every kind of vermin along the way willing to lift your load. They will take everything you have, laugh, and leave you dead’.

Before the rising of the sun I flew

a zephyr whispering voices in my head

I see their faces and feel their touch

calling to me out of the darkness

come home long lost friend

rest your head on my pillow

your long night is over

‘I’m shocked and stunned’ Lacey said. ‘My sufferin’ pales in comparison’. ‘And that’s not all’ Marybeth said. ‘Let me add just a little bit more and see what your heart says about this man….. Finally arrivin’ home and not without adventure, over two years had past since we seen him last. I looked long one day standing on the porch, my daily vigil of prayer and longing being alerted by our dog Calhoun, at this stranger approaching wonderin’ who it could be. Staring and shielding my eyes from the sun I suddenly knew and bolted off the porch running and calling to his father. He stuck his head out of the barn and followed my finger to the lone figure drawing near. Could it be? Our son thought long dead was returning home once again. Jackson spurred his horse to close the distance and then dropped down to the ground arms open to receive this weeping wisp of a woman crying out his name unable to contain her joy and emotions. Then Pa arrived. Looking at his son and holding him at arms length the dam broke and an avalanche of emotions flooded over his soul as he embraced his son weeping unashamedly’.

No one spoke until Jackson asked, ‘where is she, my Becky’? ‘Come’ I spoke, ‘she is inside longing for your return’. Then he stopped, and looking at us with piercing eyes asked, ‘what’s wrong’? Taking deep breaths, Pa and I looked at each other before we asked if he received our letters. ‘Only one and that was soon after I left’. ‘We received only two from you but nothing for the last year and a half’. ‘Held on to hope son’ Pa spoke, ‘but the news comin’ west wasn’t good, and we feared the worst’. Exhaling I continued, ‘unknown to you and even Becky she was with child when you left to join the Texas 8th. She carried the baby full term and birthed a baby boy named Jedidiah. The babe only lived three days and Becky bled overmuch. We all grieved so. The uterus was attached and caused some tearing. Over time Becky seemed to improve but never really gained her strength and never returned to her old self. Then she weakened and Doc Summers said it was consumption. She has only remained alive this long because she believed she would see your face once again and feel your kiss once more upon her lips’. ‘I see him’ she would say, ‘in my dreams he comes. Just one more time is all I ask’.

Entering quietly into her bedroom as she lay at rest I knelt beside her as she opened her eyes. ‘Ah, you are here. I knew you would come. I have seen you in my dreams. I needed to see you once again my love. I have prayed for you and your protection during many sleepless nights. Oh! how I love you so’! Bowing my head with a river of tears I said, ‘I’m so sorry. I should have been here, You are the most important thing in my life’. My sobs rocked the bed as she gently put her hand on my head stroking my hair. ‘It’s all according to the plan’, Becky said. ‘Often we don’t know it until after it unfolds before us’.

‘Rallying with his presence Becky lived four more weeks. JD never left her side except to attend to his duty. He fed her, bathed her and took care of her personals. ‘You don’t have to do that’ she said. ‘Ah yah’ he said, ‘nothing compared to camp’. Then one night she feebly motioned with her fingers for him to come close. Then she spoke softly. ‘There is one who has suffered greatly and awaits you, though she doesn’t know it yet. Be patient with her. She is so afraid and feels so unworthy of your love. I’m thinking she’s beautiful and will fill your heart helping it to heal’. Two nights later she passed as he lay sleeping cuddling her in bed. He awoke in the early morning and closed her eyes for the last time. This is the message she left’:

‘Softly I will leave you softly

for my heart would break if you would wake and see me go

so I leave you softly long before you miss me

long before your arms can beg me stay

for one more hour or one more day

after all the years I can’t bear the tears to fall

so, softly I will leave you now’

How can you calculate loss, wounds so deep that they pierce through the body and soul of a man and into his spirit and ethereal body. Loneliness, emptiness, separation and despair. Tell me what is its number….STOP!! For you really can’t know. You want numbers…..All right! At death Becky’s scant skeletal frame was reduced to just over 50 lbs. And Jackson weighed in, all 6’3” of him at about 145 lbs. Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the human heart is so assaulted? There is only the whisper of breath that separates life from death. All else has already left.

Long before Marybeth had finished her tellin’, Lacey was so embroiled in emotion that she shook as tears like raindrops fell to the ground. Finally she spoke. ‘He thinks I hate him, but I love him….love, love, love him, with all my heart, body, and being. How can I aright the wrong I’ve done’? ‘Your chance’ Marybeth spoke ‘will come soon child, soon’.

Jackson never came to Milly’s anymore. No breakfast, no afternoon chat over coffee as Lacey watched through the window to catch a glimpse of him. Beings his Marshalls office was only a block away she would often see him ride by or walking on the other side of the street. He never looked or cast a glance her way. Four weeks had past since Marybeth’s last sharing. It felt like an eternity, as her soul bobbed on the surface of a turbulent ocean of emotion threatening to capsize her at any moment. ‘Oh God’ she cried ‘help me! I am so lost and wounded……. Lead me home and if it be thy will…… back to him’. Then one day he walked right by the window as Lacey was serving a customer almost spilling the food in his lap. Not five feet but seemingly a world away. Maybe this was the day as she turned towards the door, touched her hair, and hurriedly hand brushed her dress. But the bell on the door never rang. Running into the kitchen she sought refuge for her tears. Milly looked up saying ‘child did you see him’? ‘Yes’ she choked out. ‘He just walked on by’.

‘If you see me walking down the street

and I start to cry when our eyes meet

walk on by, walk on by

make believe you don’t see the tears

just let me grieve

cause each time I see you I break down and cry

walk on by, walk on by

I can’t get over losing you

and if I seem broken and blue

walk on by, walk on by

foolish pride is all I have left

so let me hide the tears and sadness you gave me

when you said goodbye…….don’t stop, don’t stop

just walk on by’

The very next week on a slow Wednesday in the middle of the day the door bell chortled and I yelled ‘coffee’ from the kitchen. ‘Yah’ was the response. ‘Fresh pot comin’ right up’. And then I walked out and immediately froze. There he sat smilin’ at me as I attempted to limber my limbs, close my gaping mouth, walk over, and pour him a cup. I was shakin’ so bad I just sat the pot down on the table, beads of persperation forming on my face as he had to help himself. Rallying I grabbed his free hand and looked into his eyes and said, ‘Jackson, please forgive me. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve never been so wrong in all my life. Truth is I’….then Billy Botieff burst into the room. ‘Marshall you gotta come quick. Mrs. Bauer is raisin’ a storm. Her Sonya has been taken’.

Yelling to Milly, I was out the door and rushing to his office as he held my hand in deep thought saying nothing the entire way. I had to suppress my euphoric joy and the smile on my face so I could offer comfort to Adele. Arriving I stood by Adele with my hand softly on her shoulder, while JD asked questions and got pertinent information from the overwrought mother. Assuring her he would do everything in his power to get her daughter back she wouldn’t leave until her sister Emilia came and escorted her away. Turning to his young deputy Rusty he said, ‘I need you to go down to Poppi’s and get my horse ready to ride. Have him throw on some extra grain’. Then handing me a list he had just scribbled on a piece of paper he said, ‘please take this list and get it filled at Michaels. If you think of anything else I might need please add it to the purchase. Just tell them it’s for JD’. Then he added, ‘they cannot hide from me. I have lived here all my life except for the war, and I know every crook and cranny where they may look for rest and refuge. I will find them and I will return Sonya to her home’.

Weapons ready and bedroll and personals packed JD stepped outside to see Rusty riding up on Bolt, a horse for all seasons. Tall at nearly 17 hands, strong with great speed and stamina and absolutely loyal. ‘We are inseparable friends’, JD said. I stood with his order in front of Michaels as he approached with a big grin. ‘Reckon our meetin’ in front of Michaels is different this time’ he said slightly cocking his head. Getting down from Bolt I rushed to him and hugged him tightly with tears flowing. Then takin’ a small step back he wiped my tears and gave me a passionate long lingering kiss. ‘Been waitin’ a long time to do that’ he said slightly embarrassed. ‘Hopin’ it was alright’. I drew closer and answered with another long kiss and embrace. I didn’t want to let go, this man felt so good. Oh God! how could I have been so wrong. Then he packed and adjusted his paniers, mounted Bolt looking steadfastly at me. Trying to hide my tears and fears I grabbed his hand, put on a strong face and said, ‘you come back to me mister. I’m yours for life’! Answering with a broad smile he said, ‘I’m gunna hold you to that’ as he road away.

Riding out of town to the Bauer ranch my first stop was at Hector’s a neighboring rancher and friend. Riding up to the rail facing Hectors hacienda, he walked out, his brows furrowed and his eyes intent. ‘What is it Jefe’? I got down from Bolt as his wife Isabel and son Salvador approached. Not the first time I called on Hector for help. I then shared with them the situation and before being asked Isabel returned to the house to pack all the possibles they would need. ‘This time Salvador comes’ Hector said. He is ready’. As I nodded my consent a voice behind me spoke, ‘you weren’t thinkin’ of leavin’ me out of the party were you JD’? I turned with a huge grin to face my Caddo friend Black Hawk. ‘Never entered my mind to go without you. Just didn’t know where to send the invitation’. Closing the gap we hugged tightly, brothers since our youth, friends forever. While Hector and Salvador hurriedly prepared to leave I asked Black Hawk what he heard. ‘Enough’ was his reply.

Facing the three men I pulled three badges out of my pocket and handed them each one. ‘Don’t wear these where the sun might hit em and cast a shine’. Saying a couple of words I informally announced their new rolls as US Deputy Marshalls. ‘So, what you’re saying is that we are now in the good graces of the government and they’re even willing to finance this expedition since we’re willing to lose our lives to rescue one of their own’ Black Hawk said with a smirk. ‘Well spoken Thoreau’ I said with a smile. ‘I couldn’t have said it better’.

Our next stop was the Bauer’s. Max the father was nervously pacing as we pulled up. It took a lot of persuasion to convince him to stay and remain to protect Adele and the property. ‘These men’ turning to the three and fudging a little with Salvador, ‘have walked this path. They are very capable and I trust them with my back. More than this could possibly alert the kidnappers and hinder our success. ‘A few good men is all I need’ I spoke as Salvador straightened and sat a little taller in the saddle. ‘We will get your Sonya back safely. I promise. This is our backyard. They will not escape’.

Easily picking up their trail….we rode. ‘I know where they are going’ I said, ‘I can see it’. Looking at me with a puzzled expression, Hector was halted by Black Hawk putting his hand up and shaking his head ‘no’. ‘We’ve got to extract the girls’, ‘girls’ Hector said. ‘Yes, unless she’s the first there will be others. They get paid handsomely for every girl and through a network of stooges they know exactly where to go to get them. Moving swiftly they will fill their quota before leaving an area, meld with the environment, and leave without a trace. Operating in splinter groups of about six to ten men they will rendezvous with the others, continue south, and cross the border. Once there the girls will be taken to various locations, some even to Europe and the Middle East, disappearing never to be found again. The blonde blue eyed girls like pretty Sonya get the highest price. Our task is to find her before the Comanchero’s join with other splinter groups and form a formidable army of killers’.

‘They just don’t have any idea who they are dealing with’ Black Hawk said without expression. ‘They’ve entered the lair of Marshall J.D. Stone a killing machine and their worst nightmare.’ It’s true. After experiencing every gravitational dark abyss the war had to offer only to return home to hear of the death of my son and witness the bittersweet passing of my sweetheart, a volcanic rage simmered inside underneath a thin veneer of courtesy and feigned smile. When the U.S. Marshal’s sought my help I was always available. That’s where Black Hawk first experienced my metamorphosis. Eyes glazed my mind a haze. It was Antietam all over again. I didn’t care anymore and my instincts as a cavalry officer kicked in and a steely calm swept over my body. A wave of Comanche warriors the ‘Lords of the plains’ the most feared fighting force in the West, a Mongol Horde out numbering us four to one came racing down on our position, a thin red line. One solitary figure, a modern knight errant, a descendant of King Arthur’s fabled round table, checked his load, breathed deeply, and rode into the mouth of the beast an act of valor ‘sans pareil’. Mounting on Bolt, he executed a full frontal maneuver charging into the teeth of their attack with a spirited rebel yell throwing them into disarray and confusion.

While a shocked Black Hawk and the others kept throwing lead I emptied three pistols and my 15 round Spencer. I then took my saber and hacked away severing heads and limbs with a fierceness and ferocity never seen by Black Hawk and our small group of men. Afterwards Black Hawk came riding out to me in genuine fear sure to keep his distance and announce his coming. I sat Bolt my saber dangling from my hand both of our chests heaving as we swallowed great gasps of air. I was covered in blood and sweat. Black Hawk looked at me with wonder. ‘Are you hurt my brother’? ‘Not much’ I said smiling as I sheathed my sword, winced as I rolled my shoulders, rotated my neck back and forth, and stretched looking upward into the blue sky. We sat our horses for some time as Black Hawk looked upon this surreal scene of wanton slaughter. Finally he spoke. ‘I’ve never, never witnessed anything like this in my entire life, not even a remote whisper. No one will believe what I have just seen’.

The final tally was 25 elite Comanche warriors dead and no less than 18 by JD alone. Out of our small group of six men only one died, U.S. Marshall Cyrus Maxwell. The old ones long ago out of the fight hidden amongst the trees shook their heads as they watched in disbelief and murmured amongst themselves, ‘one man. How can this be’? Riding back to the village to get others to retrieve the dead their words were mocked as tattle from old blind men telling exaggerated tales fit only for squaws. Then the burial party returned as the old men stood stoically silent and the bodies of the slain were laid on the ground for all to see some with limbs severed, some with no heads. Now a great fear seized their hearts. This was not the work of a man, but a spirit beast from the under world. Then cries ascended with the wails of the women as the grieving process began.

Around the camp fires at night the old men would tell stories of their enemies glories, a measure of the tribes greatness, and JD was held in unparalleled reverence, respect and honor. No assault would ever be made upon him, his family, or the ranch again.

That night in a copse of trees around a small fire just big enough to heat some coffee without a trace of smoke we attempted to get a little sleep. I set up a perimeter of twine and cans with Bolt nearby with the other horses ground staked by a small spring and some pasture grass. He would let me know if someone was approaching. No one would get by Bolt. Sitting there Black Hawk returned after scouting the area. ‘Found some fresh horse apples. Can’t imagine them more than a couple of hours ahead of us. They will have to stop more often than normal to feed the girls and let them rest, slowing them down. Don’t want to offer merchandize that doesn’t look store window ready’.

During the night Bolt alerted me and I quietly rolled over and gently woke Hector who woke his son with a finger to his mouth, before turning back to Black Hawk finding his bedroll empty. Motioning for Hector to move around to the right while Salvador sealed the middle I moved to the left intending to entice the enemy into our trap knowing Black Hawk was behind them closing the net. Pulling my Arkansas toothpick they understood there was to be no gunplay that would alert their camp to our presence unless absolutely necessary. Waiting in absolute silence I heard the soft sound of tin on stone and then a thud and loud groan.

‘It’s ok’ Blackhawk sounded as he drug a Comanchero into camp and dismissively dropped his body by our waning fire. ‘First there were two, now only one’ he spoke. I instructed Salvador to totally strip and bind him. Often they carried weapons in the most unimaginable places. Besides being naked would serve our interrogation purposes. ‘Check his pockets for any information and dinero and the other one as well’. Helping the Comanchero awaken with cold water from the spring Hector questioned him. His reluctance stopped when we spread his legs and Black Hawk held a knife to his manhood smiling and saying something to Hector in his native language. Then he sang like a bird. After extracting everything we could from him including their location and number, eight more and as suspected four girls. I nodded and Hector and Salvador drug him off a little way and Hector instructed Salvador to slit his throat. Hesitating he did as told. Hector patted him on the back and said, ‘good, son’. ‘The first kill is always the hardest. Tomorrow there will be more’.

Up early and traveling at the first hint of dawn we carefully made our way to their camp not more than a few miles away. All the men including the guard were in a mescal induced slumber. Methodically we eviscerated the guard and then each one of them without having to fire a shot. Taking a count one was missing. We began to search and found him walking back from the forest. He got a reckless shot off and hit my arm before dying of lead poisoning. My wound was superficial but stung like hell. The gun play awakened the girls and Sonya peeked around the opening of a cave where they were being kept. Seeing me she yelled ‘Marshall JD you came’! and jubilantly called to the girls ‘Marshall JD is here with his men just like I said’.

Then they all came rushing out and Sonya crashed into me hugging me sooo tight. Looking up she said ‘you’re hurt’. ‘It’s nothin’ darlin’ I said, but she insisted I sit down and take my shirt off so she could attend my wound. Water, alcohol, and clean cloth to wrap the wound and I was as good as new. ‘There’ she said her eyes gleaming. ‘When you get back to town let Dr. Kildare check it out and give you a couple of stitches’. ‘Yes Ma’am’ I said with a huge grin. ‘Will he live Sonya’? Hector inquired with mock concern. ‘Oh yes Senior Lopez, he will do right fine’. Insisting on helping me put on my shirt, Sonya softly said ‘you’ve been hurt before. I perfectly hate those men who would do that to you’. She then sat in my lap and hugged my neck purring ‘I love you Mr. JD’. ‘And I love you too darlin’ I returned.

Checking the pockets of the dead men and gathering horses and weapons we made haste to get off the mountain. Thankfully all the girls could ride seeming no worse for the wear. We didn’t want to engage another group of Comancheros. Riding into the early evening we witnessed the joyous Bauer reunion with profuse gratitude. I asked Adele as it was getting late if they could keep the other girls for the night and bring them into town in the morning so arrangements could be made with their families. Delighted to help I said goodbye to all the girls getting unrestrained hugs with giggles and especially from Sonya who said, ‘now don’t forget’ with an impish grin. ‘Never’! I said, ‘and I love you too’.

I told the men to divide the spoils amongst themselves which turned out to be substantial. ‘Are you sure Jefe’ Hector said, ‘there is so much’. ‘You boys need it more than me’. Giving hugs and gathering badges, Black Hawk quipped, ‘I’ll be waiting anxiously for my government check in the mail’. ‘Count on it’ I said grinning. ‘I’ll see you boys later’.

Arriving to town my first thought was Bolt and Poppi’s. ‘Take special care of him with a good rub down and oats’ I said. ‘You know I will JD’. Taking the reigns Poppi spoke gently to the horse while scratching his ears, ‘come on big fella lets get you cleaned and fed before tucking you in. Oh! did you get Sonya back’? ‘Sure did. Her and three others’. ‘Ah that’s great’ he said, with a big sigh. ‘We feared the worst’. ‘Yes, it would have been a horrible fate for those girls’ I said. ‘Oh no JD, we did not fear for the girls only for those slimy bastards when you caught up with them’ he said with a hardy laugh. Grinning I nodded saying, ‘so true my friend, so true’. Then turning with a wave and my arm aching, I headed for Doc’s. Didn’t need no infection.

Knocking on the door I heard an irritated ‘hold on I’m coming. When’s a body gunna get any sleep’? Opening the door and seeing JD standing there, the irritation immediately turned into concern. Motioning for me to come in, he looked me over thoroughly noticing my bloody arm, and simply said ‘follow me’. Sitting on the bed in his surgery he said, ‘gotta get that shirt off. I can cut it off or you can take it off. What’s your choice’? as I began to take it off. ‘Lay down’ he said, and he began to clean, cleanse, and dress the wound with a couple of stiches. ‘Who did the doctoring’? he asked. ‘Sonya’ I said exhausted. ‘She did just fine’ he responded. Finishing he said, ‘take this for the pain. It will help you sleep as he pulled a sheet up on me to ward off any chill. Don’t remember Doc saying he would be back in a moment as sweet sleep engulfed me.

Early morning of the next day Milly, always a wealth of local news, mostly shady, casually said to Lacey, ‘someone saw JD come in late last night. He’s over at the Doc’s. They think he’s been shot’. With a blur it was apron off and door open as Lacey pulled up her skirts, vaulted the porch and went runnin’, yelling back to Milly ‘you got it’. Panting as she arrived at Doc’s door she paused to gather herself before knocking, fearing the worse. Doc opened with a big smile. ‘How’s’ ‘he’s just fine’ Doc interjected. Seeing my relief he said, ‘you can go in quietly he’s exhausted but resting well’. ‘There’s a chair’. Pulling up the chair as close as I could I gently put my hand on his, bathed in joy and relief, lifting my head to Heaven thanking God for his safe return.

For a couple of hours I watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest whispering ‘I love you’, over and over again. ‘Was I dreamin’ he woke and softly spoke. I thought I heard someone saying ‘I love you’. Leaning in I kissed every bit of his face before he asked for one of those mints Doc keeps on his tallboy. Sucking for a few moments he said ‘now’ and pulled me close for some hot heavenly kisses. Looking at him I said, ‘still don’t want no courtin’. I just want to be your wife’. Grinning widely he said, so you’re sayin’ you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being around me in a long time relationship like marriage that I’m proposing right now’? ‘Cruel, just cruel’ I said laughing. ‘I guess I deserve that. Mister I accept the offer of marriage on the condition of unconditional love and the privilege of your presence for the rest of my life’!!!!! Then he jumped out of bed shedding the sheet that covered his torso saying, ‘I gotta go’! Returning and much relieved, I noticed other scars and he said they were beauty marks. ‘Are there others’, I inquired, ‘do I get to see them all’? ‘Yes ma’am very soon and all that you want’!

That week we both gave notice at our town jobs. Come Sunday JD said, ‘bout time I took you out to see the ranch, You’re gunna like it’. ‘I’ll be happy in town or anywhere as long as I am with you’ Lacey said grinning. Giving her a sideways glance and smile I said, ‘horse or buggy’? ‘Horse’ she exclaimed. ‘It’s a fine day for a ride’. ‘I’ll get one from Poppi and meet you back here in half an hour’. ‘45 minutes’ I countered. ‘Girl needs a little time to spruce up. Come too early and you’ll be waiting on a woman’.

Cresting a rise on this idyllic fall day JD stopped and proudly proclaimed ‘thar she blows’. Eyes poppin’ and jaw a droppin’ I gasped at the scene spraulin’ out before me. There was a river, grassland, had to be thousands of cattle sittin’ in a beautiful valley, bordered by hills and trees. From here I couldn’t cipher the ranch house and out buildings but they looked substantial. Looking at JD in disbelief, as he just sat there smilin’ and watchin’ me, ‘how much is yours’ I blurted out. ‘All of it, as far as the eyes can see. There’s over 30,000 acres and near 10,000 cows with a remuda and presently 20 cowboys workin’ the range. Wait until you see your house. It will be your new home if you like it’. Lowering my chin with my eyes rollin’ in my head I wondered what other surprises does this man have instore.

Riding up to the house and courtyard I sat stunned and speechless until Marybeth, now ‘Mom’, came out on the porch wiping her hands on a towel with a huge smile and robust greeting. ‘Come you two and set the porch while Gabriela gets lemonade and cookies’. Out came a beautiful Mexican belleza and I felt a twang of jealousy, but she was so winsome I couldn’t help but like her. Giving me a curtsey she introduced herself and welcomed me by name. Then speaking informally with familiarity she said, ‘Jackson, you will be breaking many hearts’ and then turning her head to me she said, ‘but now I understand why. She is a muy bonita senorita with sparkling blue eyes, and I can tell full of love for you’. And then looking right into my eyes she said, ‘you are a very lucky lady and I feel deservedly so. I wish you every happiness’.

‘Oh please forgive. I get to rattling on so. I must leave and attend to my duties’. Leaving us I looked at Jackson curiously. ‘I have known her all her life and her mother before her’, he said. ‘They have been family for years and Gabriella and I have always been close. That’s why she speaks as she does. More than a servant, always a friend’. ‘I’m thinkin’ she is one of those broken hearts she spoke of’ I said. ‘Ya, mom and I both sat down and talked with her to soften the blow to her shattered dreams. But don’t worry she will love you because I love you, and will make a faithful friend and confidant’.

Looking up six of my ranch hands came walking up onto the porch taking off their hats just a grinnin’ and staring at Lacey forming a semi circle. ‘JD, Ma’am’, McCoy my foreman said nodding his head, ‘please forgive the intrusion. We won’t take up much of your time. But the boys and me couldn’t get much done with youse sittin’ here so close’. Turning to Lacey he said, ‘truth is you are the talk of the ranch and the whole valley, JD’s choice, and everyone’s dying to get a peek and maybe meet ya’. They then introduced themselves one by one with a nod of deference and a genuine greeting of welcome as I smiled and greeted them in return and made small talk much to their likin’. ‘Ma’am’ McCoy said, ‘it has been a genuine pleasure echoed by all the other cowboys’. ‘Come on pups ya got the look of lathering on your first bone’. Shushing them away as they took furtive glances backward, I heard one of them say, ‘the rest of the boys are gunna be a mite jealous. How do we describe what we just seen’?

Then taking a step forward McCoy said looking at me holding his hat in both of his hands, ‘all of us have heard stories and hold JD in a place of deepest honor and respect. Some even feel he walks on hallowed ground. All are in awe of his presence. You see it’s not often your boss is a genuine American hero and a legend in his time, a man among men. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for him, mom, and now you’. Having said he bowed to me, nodded and said ‘JD’, turned, put his hat on, walked down the steps and away leaving me with a bucket of tears.

‘Wow’ Lacey said, blowing her nose and blotting her tears, ‘I wasn’t expecting that’. Then she stepped inside and stopped, her eyes seeing but her mind not believing. ‘This is yours now’ Mom said walking up. ‘I prefer the less expansive accommodations, smaller but certainly adequate just over yonder’ as she motioned with her head. ‘Besides I might want a little privacy of my own as a certain gentleman has expressed interest and I have welcomed his solicitations’. ‘Mom’ I said, ‘I’m so happy for you’. ‘JD’s pa has been gone for five years now and he told me for a fact he didn’t want me livin’ lonely. My suiter understands the property is totally in JD’s name. Don’t want no man comin’ round for any other reason than just little ole me. Course there are some benefits’ she winked, ‘in the total package’.

Gabriella then walked up with a radiant smile and said, ‘please Miss Lacey it would be my pleasure to show you the rest of the house’. With a sweeping gesture JD gladly consented giving him time to talk to mom about the plans for the wedding. I was thrilled with the second floor, balconies, bedrooms, bathrooms, and atrium. Outside there was a green house, vegetable and herb garden, and magnificent floral display. The main floor had a large kitchen. dining room, and living space with a grand ornate stone fireplace. And that’s only the half of it. My mind whirled.

That afternoon specifically because of my presence an open pit barbeque was planned replete with succulent beef steaks, marvelous casseroles, fresh vegetables, some local brew and a marvelous Mexican favorite dessert a tres leche cake, leaving jaws dropped, lips licked, and plates cleaned, a definite must for the wedding. All day long there was a line of cowboys, servants, their families, and JD’s friends who waited their turn to meet me. I especially loved the little children who stared at me with such big eyes, awe and wonder, some even bearing home made gifts. It made me feel like a queen! Jackson said later, ‘if the slipper fits Cinderella, wear it’.

Seems when they’re havin’ a little fun down on the farm all the neighbors enter right in. Don’t need no special invitation and they don’t come empty handed. WHAT A PARTY!!!

Next day we finally got on our way for the trip back to town. ‘JD’ I said, ‘I had no idea. I am absolutely blown away. You rarely even spoke of the ranch. It is utterly marvelous. But I think I understand. You needed someone who needed you. Someone whose love would go anywhere, and live anyhow just for the chance to be close to you. Someone whose love valued you above all you have to offer. Well Jackson that’s exactually what I have to offer. I bring to our sacrament the only thing I have to give, all my heart, body, and soul’.

‘Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

just like me they want to be close to you

why do stars fall down from the sky every time you walk by?

just like me they want to be close to you

on the day you were born the angels got together

and decided to create a dream come true

so they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold

and starlight in your eyes of blue

that is why all the girls in town follow you all around

just like me they long to be

close to you’!

The next week passed so fast and then the wedding at the ranch. Didn’t know that many people lived in Texas. Even the Governor and his wife came. There were comrades in arms from the war, U.S. Marshalls, Rangers, townies and neighbors all the way from the Colorado to the Brazos. No expense was spared and I realized afterwards that for some, this was the singular most extraordinary event in all of their life. But it was the old friends Jackson reveled in most. Among them was Hector, Salvador, Isabel with their ninas and ninos, the Bauer’s and Sonya who jumped uninhibitedly into his arms and quietly sobbed. ‘I will always love you’ she said. Then JD told her nothing has changed. ‘I will always love you too’. Then he told her about me and ask her to come and visit. ‘I assure you’ he said, ‘you will love her too.’

Then their was Black Hawk, Blossom, and their tribe of little squaws and one brave. Embracing each other for such a long time, Blackhawk then stood holding Jackson by the arms and said with great emotion, and were those tears flowing down his cheeks?, ‘My prayers for you have been answered dear brother. Today I am truly a happy man’. Then blossom clung to him with all the beautiful emotion a woman can give to a beloved and trusted friend. I watched all this with great wonder.

That night as we lay totally honest, transparent, and clinging to one another, JD gently asked ‘was that alright. Are you ok’? ‘Listen buster’ I said, ‘I’m glad I didn’t have socks on. They would not only be blown off, they would be riveted to the wood work at the end of the bed’. ‘It was wonderful’! Purring I cackled, ‘I’ve never seen so many young lady’s with dirty, distraught, looks of contempt in one place at the same time. I was dodging daggers all night long and lovin’ every minute of it. You’d think I had stolen the key to the lock on their chastity belts’. ‘Oh and you should have seen the men’ Jackson said laughing, ‘trying to avoid evil looks and elbows from their wife’s and sweethearts while they gawked and staired at an angelic apparition, the closest thing to heaven some of them will ever see’.

‘I think ours is a love story that needs to be told’ JD said. ‘It is a story of redemptive love. Two souls badly bruised somehow finding the grace to step outside of their own great need to help someone else heal, and in the process finding healing for themselves, written throughout history on the pages of the ages’. ‘What would you call it’? I asked. ‘Humm, something about love lost and found. I kinda got a hankerin’ to write. Maybe when I’m older with a little more time’. ‘Well, ok that sounds great for another day. I would enjoy reading it then, but for now Romeo, enough talkin’. ‘I got something better to do’………

oh My!!!

amour et bonheur pour toujours